why are there still people who smoke, seriously?

So we have this guy working on our house who stepped outside to smoke, leaving our front door open. Our house filled with smoke and I became infuriated. I wanted to run outside and being choking him while yelling "this is what you're doing to my babies, you idiot, get off my property!" but then I realized that would have been really crazy, so I just made brad politely ask his superior to tell him not to smoke anywhere near our home again. I think everyone is a little crazy, its all about whether you act on it or not...

P.S. Smoking is still more crazy than choking a smoker... I can't comprehend how there are still people who decide to start smoking. (Is it the expense, the shortened life, or decreased quality of life that is most appealing?) This guy keeps making these awful huking noises like he has lung disease at 20 something, I keep wondering where his spit is going... and the whole thing makes me a little nauseated.

my passport says Katie Lewis

This isn't complaining, not really, because I wouldn't expect to get any sympathy. I've been able to travel a lot in my life, I know... but I must say this whole crazy year of nursing school I've been dreaming about some amazing trip I'd be able to plan after it was all over. Life never goes as planned though... and now that we have twins coming I long even more for some "last hurrah". It's slowly dawning on me that it could be a very long while before I need to bother with changing my passport to "Katie Hagen".
Travel was always the one thing that (before I got married) made me feel like I would want to wait a few years before having kiddos, I'd never trade this opportunity for twins and I'm completely thrilled about it, but that doesn't mean I'm not mourning the immenent loss of my ablility to travel the the far and exotic corners of the world. I want Egypt. I want Thailand. I want China. I want to go down under. I want a euro trip w/ my husband.  I want to take Brad to Chile and visit my people, I want him to take me to Taiwan and do the same. A few too many "I wants" I suppose? I guess I'm feeling a little selfish right now, I realize it's not very becoming, but thats just how I feel right now. I won't even have the option to be selfish in a few months, so maybe its okay to feel that way just occasionally right now...
I guess that actually was complaining. I just wanted to complain a little before I got back to studying for the NCLEX. Thanks for your time, sorry if you read this. I should really get a journal. (you know, one so my grandkids think I'm awesome and another to complain in that I'll burn one day...)

Nesting, phase 1

So, there are about a million things I want to do in our house to make it more livable/comfortable/happy before the twins come. (move our TV room upstairs once we finish painting up there, fix water damage and paint in the family room once we fix the roof, get some new furniture for the family room once we pull up the carpet and redo the hardwood floor, get a fireplace, retile the bathroom with a normal bath/shower, knock down the wall between the family room and kitchen so it's more like a great room, paint/furnish/decorate the nursery, possibly get plantation shutters in several of these rooms...a bit much, but it all seems important, right?) It makes me tired every time the wheels start turning in my head, but we finally finished our bedroom yesterday! 1 room down, 4 more to go.

Let's see, now we've got the kitchen, 1/2 of the bathroom, and the bedroom finished (minus new window coverings), that only took us a year so we should be able to do everthing else in a few months...easily....
I'll just focus on what we've done, it started out w/ yucky floors and plain walls:

More views, including shots of our floor (our pride and joy), and the stained glass that I adore.

Brad got me this large Ikea closet for my birthday gift and it was quite the accomplishment that he built it, turned out to be pretty complicated. We had to get this so we can slowly transition our closet (which is actually another bedroom) into a nursery.

I think this will be a nice place to rest on occasion when babies are sleeping...

                            

Sweet Dreams!

labor day bump

say hello to a tiny pooch! I'm so glad I decided to take a pic of myself last week, once I'm ginormous I can recall the way I once was... And you have to get one of those awkward shots where you're 13 weeks pregnant, right? I'm not showing yet, I'm "thickening"- loosing my waist, no longer wearing 1/2 of my pants, and trying to remember that this is an acceptable pooch and not to try and suck in as it pops out when i sit.
What is shocking is that I took the first picture on Thursday, then somehow over labor day weekend I suddenly just popped out! I didn't look in a mirror all weekend, then on Tuesday I suddenly said "whoa...that wasn't there last time I checked."
Last Thursday's mini-pooch: (13 weeks)

today's much more noticable tummy: (14 weeks)

Now I realize my emotions as of late have made me extra sensitive, but it's amazing how quickly after you announce you're having a baby that a plethora of irritating questions ensue:
Were you trying to have a baby? I enjoyed my friend Alicia's response to this, "No, we were trying to create a new species of house plant, and it all went terribly wrong."
Were you taking fertility medications? Look here stranger, are we suddenly going to start discussing each other's sex lives? Because this is all starting to get a little too personal for me...
FYI Twinsies run in my mom's family- she had twins, 2 of her sisters, and several of my cousins. Fraternal twins can be genetic (hyperovulation) and it doesn't "skip a generation", that's just a myth. :) So now that a couple of my least favorite questions are out there, let's stick to fun ones... like what genders they will be, how I shall decorate my nursery and such.

san fran

I uploaded the few random pics I took in San Fran, Brad worked hard so I tried to play hard for the both of us. :)
I took a tour bus around the city one day, it was actually pretty fun! I got to see some of the sights while looking like a total dork, but who cared when I was all alone?

and make a pilgrimage to the chocoholic mecca:

I ate lunch at the loveliest little spot, crown and crumpets. A nice bowl of soup, french bread, and english magazines for the lone diner. I got a kara's cupcake for dessert, honestly I wasn't that impressed. Maybe sometimes I just get more satisfaction out of creating my own yumminess...

Rachel decided to show me how to see the city like a local, she already knows all the cool stuff (like where to get a mani/pedi for $25). We went to some Zinch parties and ate dinner with friends- china town, Italian, Indian. I want to go on a San Francisco food tour next time I'm there...

To top off the trip Brad surprised me with tickets to wicked, which was completely fabulous! I love that man.

fragile

I actually wrote this post a few weeks ago, I thought it might be a bit gloomy so I just saved it for myself. Today I got some sad news that brought me back to this. My sweet cousin lost her little baby who was expected to come into the world very soon. I feel so much love for her and her family and feel sad for their loss. As my mom told me about how her family has come together and felt so much love for each other I was reminded of how close my family became during the time that my brother had leukemia and after he passed away. When family passes from this life the veil becomes so thin and there are so many spiritual experiences that can bring a more eternal perspective to life.
A few weeks back I was thinking a lot about how crazy life is. On my second to last day in my capstone clinical I assisted a full-term mom who came in with decreased fetal movement which lead to the discovery that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. It was heartbreaking to see them slowly start to get past the initial shock and feel so much pain. Only a week earlier I discovered some bad news about one of the first deliveries I helped with this spring- a cute husband and wife with a little girl having their #2, I had run into them a few weeks later and they were so happy. Then I found out the mom recently got hit while cycling and was killed.
That same week was also the anniversary of when my brother brother Jimmy passed away. I've been learning some big life lessons my whole life, but have always had a strong family and knowledge of the gospel to get through things. I'm grateful for that, I don't want to say I'm grateful for trials I've had, but I can say that I know they make you stronger. I don't know how anyone could get through life's challenges without the gospel to provide comfort and peace. It's so important for me to be able to know that there is purpose in going through these experiences and what we can achieve as we overcome our trials. I know life's challenges make our lives richer and can make us better people. You never know people's secret challenges, but when you know someone who seems like they haven't had to deal with much yet in life I find that they also normally seem kind of empty. We are all here to be tested and tried to help our progression. Challenges can refine us at super speed if we remain faithful through them. I'm grateful to have such a wonderful family, extended family, and ancestors who have given me amazing examples of faith.
I absolutely loved this talk that our prophet, President Monson gave during the last general conference. He taught, "to understand the meaning of death, we must appreciate the purpose of life. The most glorious, comforting, and reassuring of all events of human history had taken place—the victory over death."
In a previous talk he said "How fragile life is, how certain death. We do not know when we will be required to leave this mortal existence. And so I ask, 'What are we doing with today?'"

1+1=4, that's how we roll.

I may finally be getting a warm winter this year, thanks to 2 little passengers along for the ride with me:

Twins coming! February 2010
Life is about to change...or as my brother put it, "your life is over".

Questions?
MY FIRST REACTION: "I'm going to be huge."
Yes, I believe this was the first thing I said. When the doctor showed us the ultrasound I thought, oh there's just one. But I could tell he was not telling us something as he showed us the sack, baby, and heartbeat. I thought something was wrong with the baby. Then he showed us a second sack, baby, and heartbeat. I was all like WHAT? Then I saw this third dark circle and exclaimed in horror, "what is that!?". Oh, that's your bladder. Phew. I mean twins, that's exciting. Triplets, that's too much like a kitty litter for me.

BRAD'S FIRST REACTION: "Maybe one of the twins will eat the other like Dwight did in the office."
Yes, Brad now realizes that this wasn't the most appropriate comment. He was more shocked than I was at first and was lacking in the excitement factor. I think he almost fainted. We went home and he had to lay down for a long time. I didn't really help as I began fretting about how expensive twins were going to be, "2 cribs, 2 car seats, 2 high chairs, double strollers, twice the diapers, anytime we see something cool for baby we can't get just one..." Strangely enough he realized we would have the twins for the next March madness and now fantasizes about holding our twins while watching basketball. This idea got him very excited and he has remained so ever since.

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PREGNANCY: #1 Its amazing how you suddenly fall in love with something growing inside of you, I don't think this can happen unless you are pregnant. (tumors? parasites? I think not.) I worry about them all the time. I wake up and think, uh-oh I better tell the doctor about that...oh wait that was just a dream. like every morning.  Nothing is more important to me right now that doing everything I can to have 2 healthy babies. I'm just in love with them!
I also like saying "2 for 1!" Which is a shopping analogy, not a sports analogy...got that Brad? :)

BRAD'S FAVORITE THING ABOUT PREGNANCY: I'm kind of making this up, but I think it might be that once in a while I say things like "Let's get fries and shakes!" and want greasy, fattening food that previously didn't tempt me. (I've actually been making an effort to eat more fruits and veggies, I think of it as baby medicine and down it goes.)
I also think Brad has dreamed of teaching his children sports since he was a child.
And he's in love with the babies too.

MY LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT PREGNANCY:
1. Tiredness. I've been pretty lucky so far and haven't had morning sickness, just your average toothbrushing gag. What I can say is that gestating takes a lot of work- I am so tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. (Note to self: don't hike Timp 2 months pregnant ever again, even if you are unaware that you are carrying twins...) I just want to sit, which is working out well because for the past month my doctor has asked me to lay around and pretty much do nothing.
2. Fear. (you know, mostly of complications, but also of fat) Literature and family keep telling me to eat more. I love this freedom, yet simultaneously fear the inevitable truth that I am going to be giant marshmallow woman in a matter of months. Twin bellies are just scary huge. I know, I've seen many of them. Yes it's selfish, but it's still scary. Honestly I'm bugged when I'm hungry because I crave stupid foods like mac n' cheese, hot dogs, and soft pretzels. I should just live at a baseball stadium since I can't seem to enjoy the "finer foods" while using my guilt-free ticket to eat more.

BRAD'S LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT PREGNANCY: He hasn't exactly told me this, but I'm certain it's my crazy pregnant lady emotions.