fall treats

So Brad mentioned the other day that he hasn't really noticed me have any intense pregnancy cravings. As we thought about it, we realized it's probably just less distinguishable from my normal cravings... I love food so much I think I always have that pregnancy symptom! I've been neglecting food from a blogging perspective lately, but in real life our love is still in full bloom. Fall and food were made for each other- the stews, pot pies, pumpkin, squash, cinnamon, ginger goodness- love, love, love.
I've been too overwhelmed lately with house projects and such, I noticed I've only been blogging about the babies. I think I need to find a better balance... So I'll clue you in on what happened today- I made yummy donuts with my nieces and nephews! And these ones have a healthy-ish twist: they have wheat germ and I baked them, so I didn't feel bad letting the kiddos down a few.

they're trapped

I was telling Brad about how I've been a little anti-social, consumed with projects and plans for home & baby. Then I mentioned how I haven't been blogging as much. Brad was like, "Katie, blogging isn't social..." Well, being virtually social is one step for me. I love hanging out w/ friends in real life too, so if you're local we should get together, I don't want to be a social wreck loose anymore. :)
The reality of pregnancy is hitting me harder these days. I'm suddenly feeling huge, wearing official maternity clothes, and experiencing some new pregnancy discomforts: lower back pain, inability to bend over, and starting to feel the impact of this growing bowling ball in my abdomen on all my organs. I"m only 1/2 way there, so thats a little scary...
Not all the new changes have been bad though! I've been feeling the babies move around for weeks now, its pretty cool. Brad has been anxious to join in on the fun, so last week I knew he'd be thrilled to feel them. Once when they were particularly active I put his hand where I'd felt little pokes, and he felt them! I think he was excited, but all he said was, "they're trapped! they hate it in there."
I tried to explain how a uterus is a happy place for a fetus to grow, but apparently to Brad my womb is a small prison. It's okay- the girls have already served over 1/2 of their time. I guess they are trapped, but i think they like it.

the bump update: (20 weeks)

gender is everything.

Phew... what a relief to go into the doctor today and find out that both babies are growing healthy and strong! They are so big now with long limbs and looking just like regular babies, watching them move around so much made me feel like I must be numb inside to not have felt them yet...
The ultrasound tech said we are having 2 girls! Brad is excited to continue as the man of the house, although this does put the pressure on to produce some basketball-playing, tackling, nose-picking boys eventually. I was a little shocked. I was thinking it would be a boy and a girl, but was trying to prepare myself for the possibility of boys. For some reason I hadn't considered if they were both girls... Before we were just having babies, but now we're having 2 little girls! wow.
Now the nursery plans begin, the name game, the cutsey outfit shopping, the quilt making. So much to do now, I better go sew!

Both of the babies are little acrobats with their toes up by their foreheads. They're too big for one picture, but maintain their bunk bed positions, mixing things up by laying head-to-toe.
(note baby A's fist trying to punch baby B in the second pic. They're already getting along!)

Apparently this is the proof we're having girls:

(we'll really have to work on modesty with these two...)

NCLEX

Tomorrow I'm taking the dreaded NCLEX (nursing board exam). Please don't ask me how I did, I'm so worried I won't pass. If I do, I'll make sure to let you know. If I don't, assume I'm taking it again in a couple of months. It almost makes me nauseated just thinking about it. I've really tried to study hard this week. really. I'm already using the babies as an excuse though, how can I really focus on studying when its so much more fun to do the following:
write this post
do research on project nursery
plan quilt patterns
make lists of baby names
google "is _____ normal at 16 weeks pregnant?"
plan how I will make my own adorable baby books
periodically ensure I'm not missing out on any killer ksl deals
peek at the 6 different books I bought about raising twins
filter out pants I'm no longer wearing and put them in storage
read about how celebrities w/ twins still have all the "normal challenges" even w/ their live-in baby nurse
make a list of all the disney movies we should own

These are important things too, right?
I've been trying to do my best to prepare, even if my best doesn't seem that awesome right now. So all I can do is pray that this will be enough because I'm so sick of studying. I don't even know what on earth I'm doing. Who will hire me? How long will I be able to work anyways? Why nursing? I should have stuck w/ being a high school home economics teacher, I'd be organizing a cake decorating contest for teens right now...

what's going on down there?

16 weeks and I'm starting to get creeped out. For one, those creepy looking babies on the baby countdown to the side of my blog appear to be getting bigger, but they continue to look like frail elderly people or barbies. I can't decide. Whoever designed them should have made them a little more chubby, stubby, and lovable. I'm mostly creeped out because its been a month now since I've seen a doctor or had any update on these babies growing inside me. I haven't felt them yet so there is nothing to confirm their healthy development. Its driving me crazy.
How on earth do people wait 1 month between doctor appointments??? We went in for our first appointment at 8 weeks, and then I was all "special" and got to make sure my babies were okay with an ultrasound every week. Then at my 12 week appointment the doctor says "see you at 16 weeks." Wait a minute here. How do people maintain sanity for this long with no idea how babies are doing??? I've been on somewhat restricted activity, how do I know if I need to keep it up? If its working? I can't wait till 24 weeks when I'll be deemed "special" again and get more frequent ultrasounds. I realize there is an element of faith involved in all this, but since technology is so cool I'd like to be able to use it all the time for the facts on whats going on down there.
This is my only positive evidence that something good is happening. Brad thinks I stick out my waist for these pictures (I may have played with angles a little for the 14 week picture), but I made sure not to for this one:
week 16

I can't tell you why I think to take a picture of my belly right out of the shower in a room under construction, but just ignore those details.
I've mostly been wearing flowy tops and people keep saying "you don't look pregnant at all." Well, under that flowy material is a bump that I believe is starting to go beyond what could be mistaken as a thick-waisted, non-pregnant girl.
Exhibit A, just in case you missed it in the above picture:

I guess I could just always wear stretchy downeast tops that make my changing figure more apparent. Its not offensive to me when people say I don't look pregnant, I just think, "yeah right. I used to have a flat waist, and now I have this pooch...so I'm pretty sure I look pregnant." Oh well, I'll enjoy it while it lasts because at some point my belly will no longer play hide-and-seek no matter what style of top I'm wearing!

why are there still people who smoke, seriously?

So we have this guy working on our house who stepped outside to smoke, leaving our front door open. Our house filled with smoke and I became infuriated. I wanted to run outside and being choking him while yelling "this is what you're doing to my babies, you idiot, get off my property!" but then I realized that would have been really crazy, so I just made brad politely ask his superior to tell him not to smoke anywhere near our home again. I think everyone is a little crazy, its all about whether you act on it or not...

P.S. Smoking is still more crazy than choking a smoker... I can't comprehend how there are still people who decide to start smoking. (Is it the expense, the shortened life, or decreased quality of life that is most appealing?) This guy keeps making these awful huking noises like he has lung disease at 20 something, I keep wondering where his spit is going... and the whole thing makes me a little nauseated.

my passport says Katie Lewis

This isn't complaining, not really, because I wouldn't expect to get any sympathy. I've been able to travel a lot in my life, I know... but I must say this whole crazy year of nursing school I've been dreaming about some amazing trip I'd be able to plan after it was all over. Life never goes as planned though... and now that we have twins coming I long even more for some "last hurrah". It's slowly dawning on me that it could be a very long while before I need to bother with changing my passport to "Katie Hagen".
Travel was always the one thing that (before I got married) made me feel like I would want to wait a few years before having kiddos, I'd never trade this opportunity for twins and I'm completely thrilled about it, but that doesn't mean I'm not mourning the immenent loss of my ablility to travel the the far and exotic corners of the world. I want Egypt. I want Thailand. I want China. I want to go down under. I want a euro trip w/ my husband.  I want to take Brad to Chile and visit my people, I want him to take me to Taiwan and do the same. A few too many "I wants" I suppose? I guess I'm feeling a little selfish right now, I realize it's not very becoming, but thats just how I feel right now. I won't even have the option to be selfish in a few months, so maybe its okay to feel that way just occasionally right now...
I guess that actually was complaining. I just wanted to complain a little before I got back to studying for the NCLEX. Thanks for your time, sorry if you read this. I should really get a journal. (you know, one so my grandkids think I'm awesome and another to complain in that I'll burn one day...)