"happy" mother's day

I sort of feel like this was my first mother's day, last year I was still crazy adjusting to motherhood and I don't really remember it at all. I think we celebrated with Brad's family at my parent's place in Midway. I didn't honestly have that high of expectations for it this year, but I also didn't expect it to be a horrible weekend.

I'm pretty sure Brad doesn't even read my blog, so I can speak freely, but I won't...to preserve our familyhood. I'll just share *most* of the story, because it's therapeutic for me. And maybe I'll discover there are other moms out there like me who perhaps didn't enjoy the breakfast in bed, pampered sort of weekend that one conjures up images of.
It all began with Lyla having the runs on Friday which lead to a nasty diaper rash that still hasn't gone away. She only let me sleep a couple hours at a time on Friday night and reminded me of those first 6 months of sleepless nights. What a special mommy memory, thank you Lyla. :)
We're doing yard work exchange in all of my familys' yards and this Saturday was my parents turn, so we spent the better part of Saturday building decks, weeding, and I mostly tended to sad little Lyla. The girls napped in the car and I stayed with them while Brad got a pedicure, don't judge him. I told him to do it because his feet were horrible, much worse off than my chipped paint.
So we get home once I grab a few gorceries and I'm about to start preparing my lesson (Oh, did I not mention I had to teach relief society on mother's day too?) And Brad informs me we need to leave for a mother's day surprise. That's nice, but I have a lot to get done, he said it was just grabbing dinner and that scared me because Lyla has been the clingiest, saddest little think ever since the diaper rash. Well, turns out it wasn't just dinner- we drove all the way to provo with 2 screaming babies who had already spent most of their day in their car seats. And they were going to drive for another hour to a wedding reception while we grabbed dinner. Then we had to drive home with them, stop at gas stations to change dirty diapers etc...needless to say it was not so relaxing or fun, though filled with good intentions.
I don't want to depress you, so enjoy this lovely quote before I continue:

We got home late and I commenced preparing hundreds of mini cupcakes to give to the ladies in the ward for mother's day. And also prepare my lesson, after organizing my thoughts my computer shuts down deleting everything I'd just done. No sweat, plan B, those hand outs I didn't ever get around to printing will save the day! At 11:30 PM I rush to Wal-mart only to discover that the photo center closes at 9. (be aware people) There's a lot of weird people at wal-mart around midnight on a Saturday, but I must have looked like the weirdest one of all in my pajamas with tears welling up in my eyes at the photo center.
On Sunday morning I prepared my lesson while Brad watched the girls, then I walked into the kitchen to find June and Lyla eating and smashing my mini cupcakes I'd stayed up all night preparing. Good thing Brad wasn't in the room or pans would have been flying. I swear I'm always at my meanest on Sunday mornings that I have to teach, but knowing it was mother's day really gave me that extra edge knowing I ought to be enjoying some me time, be pampered, have a relaxing moment. That was a fleeting dream so I called my mom to come to the rescue and frost cupcakes and talk for a few minutes during my lesson.
As soon as church was over we drove up to bountiful, quickly ate with my family, and had to leave early to drive to Provo and see Brad's family. Basically, mother's day weekend consisted of a lot of stress, crying babies, and driving. I wanted to pull my hair out and cry, why was I being punished this weekend for being a mom?!
So, after all that where does this go? I will tell you, I think mother's day is a nice holiday that all mom's truly deserve, that forces those around them to show their appreciation and give them a break for at least one day. But it's really just one day, it doesn't change your life & at least I am a mom and I have June & Lyla, I'm very blessed and lucky. My own mom is amazing- like has babies in Samoa, raises 5 kids under 6 and still decides to have me amazing. She is always there for me and loves me and wants whats best for me. I'm so lucky to have her as a mom and really do pray that I can be a mom like that for Lyla & June. 

I hope everyone had a better mother's day than mine, if you didn't we can wallow in our own sorrow together, if you did I'm happy for you and at least my standard of mother's day is so low that it has no where to go but up.
All that really matters is that I am a mom, a very lucky mom, to these two beautiful girls:

Happy Mother's Day!