Friday, May 20, 2011

wanted: babies

I've got a good PR guy "up there" who must have made up this flyer to lure the girls here:
Charming home in Holladay, UT. Loving and adventurous husband and wife desiring parenthood. Space for 1, but preferably 2.
Picture a rainy day, you can gently rock in your bouncy seat or be held on demand at any time. A woman with red-rimmed eyes will tend to your every need, and when she doesn't a man with red rimmed eyes is there for backup.
*High-end nursery suite with ample noise makers and swaddling blankets to make you feel warm and cozy, very wombescent.
*Free, live entertainment. Besides the nightly shows available, you will simply need to look at the woman, who seconds as a court jest, with your doe eyes and she will make all attempts to entertain. Singing, dancing, tickling, crazy baby talk- it won't stop till you stop smiling.
*Heated indoor sink baths, at least 2x weekly
*Meals include: continental breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, late supper, and a midnight snack. All meals include fresh, warm milk for two.
*Fast, efficient, and sanitary diaper changes made frequently throughout the day.
*Same day laundry service specializing in hydroflourescent orange stains.
*Clothing optional. Numerous adorable, coordinated outfits will be provided for the fasionista baby-on-the-go.
*Intense gym training with a personal trainer including tummy time and the popular kicks and wiggles program.
*Follow your workout with a relaxing massage, nested in cuddling arms that rub your back and pat those tired muscles.
*Several exotic day trips are available. Visit local grocers, grandmas house, and more!
All services are free and included in the package. Just show up and give us a try.

P.S. There is an eternal contract, once you join us we'll never let you go.


Mandy said...

Hi Katie! Thanks for stopping by my blog to let me know about yours, I love it :)

LL said...

CUTE! I'm sure they're glad they applied.

***Julia C. Greenfield Vanikiotis*** said...

Geez Katie it sounds great - I know the positions have been filled but to you have room for 3? Ha ha - you crack me up! :)

Rachel Hagen said...

I'm finally getting caught up on blogs! This is too cute. I love that picture of you guys.

Natasha said...

LOVE it!


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