Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I see a picture like this and I think, it's all going to be worth it. I mean it's already worth it, I love these little girls and they're so sweet, but THIS IS SO HARD.
People like to say marriage is an adjustment, and after having babies I decided I don't agree. Marriage is as much as an adjustment as making a new best friend, it's cake. But having a baby, let alone 2 babies, has completely rocked my world. I don't even think I can call it a life adjustment, I feel like my life got thrown upside down, died, and now I have this new life I need to get used to.
I need 2 of me to take care of both of them. I miss the hospital where I had people caring for me constantly while I cared for the babies. I could feed them and hold them, then send them to the nursery to sleep when I was tired. There were no dishes, no laundry, no meals to think about. People brought me my food, helped me to the bathroom, and checked on me constantly. I miss it... I still want to be babied as I get used to this role and recover physically and emotionally, but instead I have to care for these 2 helpless babies day and night. Brad has helped how he can, but he is tired and has been busy as well. I'm scared to be on my own, the little people outnumber me and I feel like there's no way I can win... heaven help me.